Headquarters for Experimentalism

Tell me about it!

Interview with Magic Surrealist Bruce Taylor.

How long does it take on average to transform a Toltecapeirone into Leeken’s Mukdenaginis?

Depends on the length of the über-coil Hensidyne Unit of the latter interior space (Guntruup, Alpert, et al, 1999, The Interior Space of Outer Space, Time Warp Today, October 22) coupled with the Vacuum Antics of the Mukdenaginis.


Why is it strictly forbidden to reformat a Eurypteridenquetzal?

Because you can NOT reformat to forbidden; strictly, it is why. But “y” is it strictly forbidden to reformat to “x”–A. Eurypteridenquetzal (Nobel Prize, Physics, 2014) cited evidence of creation of MM (“Mickey Mouse”) Particles that could decouple the interstitial gluons in stuck energy frills between X prime and Y subprime.


What kind of vessel transported Gundestrup’s antenna all the way to Karnuten-Renacimiento?

It is difficult to say. The vessel was reported to have been a Rostow-Proton Heavy Lift Vehicle capable of lifting 12.5 Tonnes at maximum thrust of the rocket @177.4 billion MetaGems full thrust power which, ample enough, unfortunately bends local space-time and introduces Trudi’s Paradox: that, for every MetaGem of power over 177.4, technologies in adjacent universes collapse. Given that it took 177.5 MegaGems of power to lift Gundrdtrup’s antenna, a nearby collapse occurred resulting in the antenna being delivered on a vast rocket powered Ford Edsel, 300 years too late–long after the Elusions declared victory and vaporized Kamuten-Renacimiento.


What does Taihochola Mathesisthety’s “Impossible Oudinot” feed on?

Many foods are possible for the Impossible Oudinot to feed on. Young amoebas are a delight in addition to 72 hours-old egg shells, moldy peanut brittle and condensed cat spit. The range of foods also include, when available, fresh dinosaur kill (once every 65 million years) to (theorized possible) Martian bacteria and complex organisms found in the geysers on Saturn’s moon Enceladus. Such range of foods means the Impossible Oudinot will be […] possibly to infinity–as impossible as that seems.


What does the Tughluq-Gagaku-Nhr theorem suggest?

The Tughluq*-Gagaku-Nhr is a saying that refers to the explosion of NimJin-powered batteries at Gagakur-Nhr automobile manufacturing in Yavanaskan in 2024. The blast, visible from the moon, resulted in a 100-mile crater, killed millions of people, ended global warming and also resulted in hoards of Zombie parakeets, can be used to describe any state of profound misfortune.

*Tough Luck


How large does a Pachacuteceuper get?

A Pachacuteccuper gets as large as it needs to get in any sort of vessel in which it is placed and filling up the save allowed, no more, no less. But–according to physicist Norman Rockwell Heisenberg, in his famous enough treatise … According to said treatise (published 2013, University of Berlin) if no containment is available, it will adapt to whatever shape or substance closest to it or, if, for example, launched into space, could end up expanding throughout the universe with untold consequences: potentially becoming a dark matter indeed.


Where did the first edition of the Xoxiyaoyotl Hadaicum, published by Eozan Bleyl and his Toghrul, arrive?

Because this was published in a Quantum Time Period just to the left of Earth, the published book arrived before it was written–that is to say, the book appeared in all bookstores simultaneously, but several days had to pass by before the letters actually appeared in the book. Another 58 hours had to pass before the letters became words. Unfortunately, the words were unreadable because, upon further investigation and using latest computer technology, it appeared that the words were extrapolated from present day French into what looked like a hybrid language of French, Russian and Arabic 500 years in the future. The book is presently considered unreadable.


What is Jomon Tekrur’s famous witticism about Gaullist waters?

“Gaullist waters, a widow’s tears, it’s all SO wet!”


What did Erechtheion Godoy write during his imprisonment in the notorious “Kroton Rimpa” Institution?

One of the greatest works of literature. Warren Peace came out of that detention. It was Godoy who found, roasting marshmallows and weenies during the Great Tundra Fires of Siberia (2019–2025), that “Exxon-Shell givith and I cook away-ith.” Was deemed mad or “an enemy of the people” and incarcerated at Kriton Rimpa where he wrote about Warren Peace, who is best known for his views on Global Warming (“Let Earth burn! There’s too many people anyway and once the planet is burned, it can’t burn again.” It’s interesting to note that in the Great Migration to Mars, the great genius of Godoy was recognized, while somehow Warren Peace was left behind with an ample stick of marshmallows and weenies.


How could Tepeyollotl Stüler’s geoglyphentheatinus be cured?

My mother had this disease but recovered quickly by a soup recipe found on “Dr. Hork’s Discounted Medical Cures That Almost Worked” website and this one may have done the trick:

One fried bio-flavonoid

Two organic age-two temper tantrums 

One over-ripe tomato

Three garlic globes 

Wokno Seed Organic Oil. 1/4 cup

10 Drops Eau d’Benzene

Add to 3 gallons extra dry water 

Boil all ingredients for 4 hours 

and take two large glassfuls next 36 hours. 

In 48 hours, follow up with shot of penicillin.

What is amazing is that you don’t feel any change for those first 48 hours, but all symptoms simply vanish–by the third day. Isn’t that just amazing?


Due to which rare illness was Nyxor the Boiled forced to give up his Lykurg status prematurely?

This is, unfortunately, FAKE News. The real story, according to SnoopsFakeFaxChecker was that there was no illness involved with Nyxor giving up ANYthing prematurely. He did claim that one evening, while strolling along the shores of an alligator- and wakajumungi-infested lagoon in the middle of Miami, he did see a bright flash of light and found himself waking up under the Sunday Edition of The New York Times a day later in Hamburg. He was questioned extensively but with no answers found, Nyxor nonetheless took time off to join the Trump campaign as that weirdness most suited his mental state at the time.


In his long and productive life, Chrysostomosymeon “Barobodur” Eyquemommu had relationships with Isturitz “Microliths” Karamchand, Ziwije “Waxaklajuun” Quatrocento, Cromlech “Mohism” Pflimlin, Sakyamuni “Mfecane” Skandagupta and Orgaz “Monogatari” Ulemas – which one did not grow into a marriage?

The relationship with Orgaz “Monogatari” Ulemas could not grow into a marriage because Eyquemommu had such a full life and with all the other marriages being so fulfilling, he just couldn’t see himself being any happier than he was. Besides, as it turned out, and as fate would have it, Orgaz turned out to be a daughter from a failed, heretofore undisclosed “shot-gun” marriage when Eyquemommu was fourteen and said marriage, annulled a year later, was, due to intense shame at the whole torrid affair, covered up, “forgotten” except for the one small detail of a child, Orgaz, born of said unhappy union and who made it a mission in her life to find her father, who almost became–her husband.


How long does it take on average to transform a Toltecapeirone into Leeken’s Mukdenaginis?

It depends on your definition of “transform”–being that a Toltecapeirone has an initial pre-transformative period of several decades give or take several centuries plus an eon on top of that. So the transformation into Leeken’s Mukdenaginis can be highly variable, not to mention the length of time for the full transformation to occur which could take several revolutions of the galaxy to totally complete, which is why no one has ever seen a total transformation.

Image sourcery: (c) DA

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  1. Sarah Blum September 5, 2018

    What an amazing imagination Mr. Magic Realism has. So fun to read. Love the 3 gallons of extra dry water.

  2. Nancy September 25, 2018

    Truly a most amazing amalgamation of words and terms that coalesces into a single body of scientific explanation for the undisclosed reasons the Trump administration is on its way out.
    I won’t even mention my thoughts on the untold effect of condensed cat spit on anyone who tries that mixture.

    (Truth be told: excellent usage of words and terms, Mr. Magic Realism! Great fun to read.)

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